


Liebe Herr Hemmick,

by rabeimwald



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew tries to make amends, Gen, This really did hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabeimwald/pseuds/rabeimwald
Summary: Andrew writes a letter to Nicky in a push to start his life post-system. It's messy and painful, but so is life. He hated everything about it, but he knows it's important. And a small, small part of him hopes it works.
Kudos: 23





	Liebe Herr Hemmick,

Hello, my name is Andrew Minyard. You do not know me. 

His hands were shaking and the handwriting was so terrible. That was okay, he could always type it out instead later. But he needed to write this out now, while the feeling was still fresh in his mind. While everything was still in one place and time. It was okay. 

I am eighteen years old as of two days ago. Which is the odd thing, really. Two years ago I would have laughed if someone told me I’d be alive to pass eighteen. I never wanted to. Fuck, that sounds so depressing. I didn’t mean it like that. But you probably actually do know what I mean, don't you? You know what it means to not be

Andrew took a deep breath. He let it out. His shoulder twitched, and his elbow slammed into the air behind him. There was no longer anyone there to tell him to stop, so he shook it out of his system. It would be okay, even if it actually wasn’t yet. 

Alive. Or to be close to not being. Good for you, really. I googled Luther, his Facebook says you’re in Germany on a business trip. Yours says you’re visiting your boyfriend. Good for you. Don’t let them take that. Don’t let them

He erased that entire last part. All of it. It was weird, wasn’t it? To look people up on Facebook? To want to know about the life you could have had? Andrew didn’t blame this Nicholas person. Andrew didn’t have any blame left to give. He probably didn’t even know he existed. Andrew’d only had this name for about four years anyway, and it had taken him this long to find the courage to maybe send this draft of the letter he’d always wanted to send. It would be hypocritical. 

Able to be alive. I think you should marry him. I think you deserve it. 

I was given Aaron’s name, first, actually. They told me my DNA had been found at the scene. But I was a thousand thousands miles away in a Juvie library at the time. So I had a twin brother, apparently. Luther came to see me a week later, because finding family was a big deal for DCFS. My GAL had been out that day, and the stand-in was a tall woman that told me not to get my hopes up. She was just trying to keep me from hurting myself, I think. I like to think Anyways. I applaud you for putting up with him for so long. He’s a dick. Good on you for not being him. 

Being eighteen is kind of important in foster care, I don’t know if you know this. Most people don’t actually know anything about the system, because everything you’re told is from weird Christmas movies about dogs or, for fuck’s sake, Annie. Independence is first introduced to a child as an option at the age of sixteen. It gives them a few years to work their asses off to maybe get a halfway decent shelter. Tilda had life insurance, so I bought myself a nice little house. In South Carolina. Got a sports scholarship at a college out there. I move out there after senior year ends. I'm no longer government-owned, so I can go wherever I want, I guess. 

Listen. My therapist says it would be good for me to make amends. You’re not Aaron, and I know that. He sent me a letter, once, and I never answered him. I didn’t want him there, I didn’t want him to get hurt. He came anyway. I guess I convinced him, because nothing happened after that. I don’t think I can actually talk to him, not really. Not yet. But my therapist was very insistent that I write this before our next session, so we can at least talk about sending it out. 

There are things in life, that I have seen. That’s ominous, but you’re not ready to know what the foster system means for people like me. You are a person that deserves the best that life can offer. I can’t give you that, and that is why I decided you were the best person to talk to. 

Andrew wiped his hand down his face, quickly. Was that too many commas? Did it matter? He needed to stop writing. He needed to throw this away. None of these words said anything. Maybe he’d just cancel on Bee tomorrow and deal with her disappointment later. Maybe he’d-- He huffed, out loud, and put the pencil back down onto the paper. He was going to finish this, and then stop thinking. Everything was okay, actually. Everything was alright. 

So, yeah. I’m Andrew, I’m your cousin. The other page of this letter is the MLS sheet of my new house. Do you think, if I asked, Aaron would accept a guest bedroom with those dimensions? Let me know. 

I’d googled how to close a letter in German. I do not know whether or not this is formal or informal. So, based on your preference, Ich danke Ihnen für Ihre Aufmerksamkeit und verbleibe mit freundlichen Grüßen, oder Herzlichst. Take your pick.


End file.
